After Every Party I Die
by BeckyRocks-x
Summary: Unrequited Howince. T to be safe. 'This is what has become of ‘Vince Noir, Rock and Roll star’. I’m sitting in the street openly crying, dishevelled and alone. To me it seems like I die a bit more after every party.'
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, I'm back. Sorry for the unannounced hiatus, but I've had lots of coursework and I have mocks, coursework, science GCSE re-sits, and an AS level to revise for :P**

**Oh, and I stole the title and got the inspiration from the song 'After every party I die' by IAMX and I don't own the Boosh, even though I met them both on Saturday at the Brighton signing!!**

**Dedicated to the lovely Tamsin (swisstony) :)**

**

* * *

**

**After Every Party I Die**

**Vince's POV.**

Leroy's throwing a party tonight. It's gonna be genius, girls, drink, hopefully some drugs if I can find any- which I usually do. It's all perfect for forgetting him. Not that he's done anything wrong, he's perfect. It's me that's not- why would a wonderful man like him want somebody like me? I'm a shallow excuse for a man, he's intelligent, deep and kind. Parties are great, I can drown all of that out- alcohol, an easy fuck, they have it all.

It's four hours until it starts. I grab my fluffy blue towel and go to the bathroom. I take a long shower and ignore Howard's yells at me to stop running the water bills up. Doesn't he realise that water comes free with the flat? I wash my hair carefully, using those nice salon products that cost me loads of my wages. Then I wash myself with lots of nice, smelly shower stuff.

I jump out of the shower, drying myself, combing through my prized hair, carefully teasing any knots out. I then walk through to my room. I shove some boxers on and dry my hair, straightening it slowly until it's all perfect. I put product in, root booster, miracle wax, and I spray some dry wax in to hold it in place. I then open my large wardrobe. I try on several outfits, before eventually opting for a blue t-shirt with a genius tape print, and a black jacket with silver studs around the collar.

It's all for him.

But when I grab my keys and phone and walk through to the living-room, Howard doesn't compliment me, he just looks up at me, his small brown eyes looking up at my face, narrowing slightly.

"Vince, you're destroying yourself. You've been out every night this month, turning up in the early hours, doing an hours work at the end of the day after you've slept it off, I'm sick of covering for you Vince, you need to start taking more care of yourself."

I hate this caring father attitude, I don't want him to be a father, I don't even really want him to be a friend, I want him to be so much more than that. But I know he doesn't want the same thing. He is a man of action, he likes girls, he's as straight as a ruler. I know he'd never want anything to do with me.

"Bye Howard, I'll be back later."

I close the flat door behind me.

I walk round to Leroy's house, its only around the corner, and he's always having parties. Perfect. I walk through the unlocked door, into a haze of smoke, music and free-flowing alcohol.

"Vince!" Leroy shouts, smiling at me.

"Leroy!" I say, forcing a smile.

He hands me a drink, it's something blue, and it seems quite strong. Just how I like it.

A few hours later I'm out of my mind, dancing with a brunette. Sure she's pretty, but I know who I'd rather dance with, but he doesn't dance, and like I said, he's straight.

"You wanna go somewhere quieter?" she says.

I nod, flashing her a sexy smile. We go upstairs, find an empty room. She kisses me, her tongue alien in my mouth. She peels her top off, shedding it like an extra skin.

It feels wrong. I don't want to be here in this dingy room, drowning my sorrows in casual sex. I want to be with him, but he doesn't want to be with me. It almost feels like I'm cheating on him, even though we were never together in the first place. This feels all wrong.

"Sorry, I can't do this" I mumble, grabbing my jacket and running out of the house. I run as far as I can, which isn't very far because my shoes are giving me blisters, and I have a huge stitch. But none of this is as painful as how my heart feels, loving him so much with no hope of him ever returning it.

I slump against a wall, sliding down onto the floor, sitting on the hard , cold pavement. This is what has become of 'Vince Noir, Rock and Roll star'. I'm sitting in the street openly crying, dishevelled and alone. To me it seems like after every party I die a bit more.

* * *

**Sorry this wasn't very long, or good, but it was just something short to ease me back into writing after my little hiatus. **

**Should I continue, or leave it as a little one-shot? Honest opinions please, and constructive criticism is welcome.**

**xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**I haven't wrote for a long time- I was on hiatus because of my Year 11 mocks, and my AS critical thinking exam, so sorry about that.**

**Dedicated to RoseNoirMakin'TheCha, because on Live journal last night she was hungry for fic.**

_In the early 1940s __bebop__ performers helped to shift jazz from danceable popular music towards a more challenging "musician's music." Differing greatly from swing, early bebop divorced itself from..._

Fuck it, I can't concentrate on this anymore. That little tit-box has such a hold on me, I can't concentrate on jazz documentaries while he's gone.

It's 10:30. His party will be in full swing by now. Maybe he'd notice me more if I y'know, dressed up more, went out with him. Maybe then he might be able to think of me as more than the awkward jazzy freak I am.

I could never do that! How ridiculous would I look walking around in little cat-suits? He'd just laugh at me even more.

Almost without thinking, I drift into his room. It's full of clothes, not just in the wardrobe, but scattered on his bed, and on the floor, the rejects for tonight's outfit. I pick up a pink t-shirt, and smell it, breathing in his scent.

I walk over to his dressing table, which is covered in bottles, creams, makeup and lots of stuff that I don't even know the purpose of. I wish I could tell him that it's unnecessary, I think he's most attractive in the morning, when his hair is ruffled, he looks natural, and most of all, because I'm one of the few people who sees him like that- when he's with his Camden dolly birds, he doesn't hang around for long.

I notice something amongst his rubbish- it's a photo frame- it makes me curious. I pick it up and look at it. It's a picture of us, during the good old days, when we worked at the zoo, and our relationship was simple. We're both grinning like mad, and incredibly happy in each other's company.

If somebody then could have told me that we'd be barely talking now, that I could barely be around him because loving him unrequitedly hurt so much, I would have laughed in their face, and not believed them.

If I want to keep him, I have to do something about it. I can't go on like this.

I'm going to go to that party, and I'm going to tell him how I feel. I will resolve this one way or another. I grab my coat and keys and run as fast as I can, the ache in my ribs nothing to me, because I, Howard Moon am going to do something I should have done long ago.

The door is unlocked, and the music so loud, there's no point in knocking. I just go straight in, looking for one person, and one person alone. Vince.

"Howard!"

"Leroy?"

"Vince ran off mate, if you're looking for him- he's in a right state, maybe you should try and find him."

'Can I borrow your bike?"

I don't even bother to wait for an answer. I run out of his house and round to his garage where he keeps it. The lock is broken, so I get in easily, and get what I came for- Leroy's shiny red motorbike. I'll be able to get around Dalston as quickly as possible now, I will find him.

I ride around the night streets, peering into alleyways, looking wherever I can, desperate to find him, hoping he's not hurt.

After about half an hour, I see a group of teenage chavs.

"What the fuck are you?"

"I'm Vince Noir, Rock and roll star!" says Vince, sniffing and wiping his face- he's obviously been crying.

One boy looks at his friend in disgust.

"It's a man! Fuck, look at the little poof, he's disgusting!"

The one that last spoke kicks Vince, once but really hard. Vince cries out.

"Watch the jacket! It's vintage you knob!"

I ride the bike into the group, they see me coming and jump aside.

"Howard!?"

"Get on Vince, now."

Vince clambers onto the back of the bike, smiling gratefully at me.

I ride away as quickly as I can, stopping a few streets away  
.

"Are you OK Vince? Did they hurt you?"

"I'm fine Howard! But please- take me home."

He obviously isn't fine. He isn't hurt, but he's upset. I feel a strange urge to hurt whoever made him feel that way- I can't bear the thought of him being upset.

I speed through the night streets as fast as I can. When we reach the shop, I open the shop, bring the bike inside, and take Vince upstairs, guiding him like a small child.

He flops down heavily on the sofa, obviously exhausted.

I sit down next to him, and ruffle his hair.

"Thanks Howard, you were amazing tonight" he says, smiling up through his ruffled fringe at me.

"That's fine Vince- I had some things we needed to talk about and came to find you, but Leroy said you'd ran away. Why did you do that? Did somebody upset you?"

"I was with this girl Howard, and I just couldn't do it! I'm really in love with someone else, but he doesn't feel the same way, I don't know what to do!"

"I feel the same way Vince. About someone I've known forever, he obviously won't feel the same way as me, will he?"

"How would I know?"

He is such an airhead. Despite my nerves, I chuckle lightly at him.

"Vince, only you could know, it's only you I love, and it's always been you."

He leans towards me, and I know this is it. His lips meet mine, our noses bump slightly. It starts gentle, I open my mouth slightly, and he gently and slowly slides his tongue in, neither of us quite believing what is happening. Suddenly, the kiss intensifies, it's more needy, my tangle themselves into his hair, our lips move together. It is the sweetest kiss I've ever had, the second I've had. On the roof, that was different, this isn't proving anything to anyone, this is love. I feel like a live wire, full of electricity. We kiss away all of the recent awkwardness, revelling in the glory of finally having our true feelings in the open.

Vince gently pulls away from me. Smiling, his eyes wet from the emotion of the moment he runs a hand tenderly across my face.

"I love you Howard."

"I love you too Vince, there's never been anyone else."

This is definitely the start of something interesting, I think blissfully to myself.

**Please review.  
Yes, I know I'm a shameless beggar.**


End file.
